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18 Ways Kim Kardashian Can Use The $18 Million She Made Off Her Wedding

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kim kardashian and kris humphriesWe all thought it would end, but I don’t think we thought it would end in a mere 72 days. Kim Kardashian and hubby Kris Humphries have officially called it quits. Though this may be a minor headache for Kim K, we think the $18 million she made on off the reality TV wedding extravaganza could buy her a wealth of consolation prizes. Check out our list.

  1. Buy a new house because she likes to reward herself for her hard work. She worked hard for 72 days to stay married to Kris Humphries and by gosh, she earned it.
  2. Buy season tickets for half of New Orleans to take a road trip to see Reggie Bush play on the failed Miami Dolphins football team.
  3. Take a five-star trip around the world with her mother. While away they can plan her next wedding.
  4. Pay for some preemptive liposuction for the impending stress weight gain.
  5. Buy some acting lessons from Brad Pitt and try to steal him from Angelina…
  6. Buy a minority stake in the Brooklyn Nets. She gets to hang out with Hov and cut that loser Kris… again.
  7. Hire a high-class escort to sleep with Lamar so Khloe will be single again and she’ll have someone to hang out with.
  8. Pay-off Scott to become a drunk again and abandon Kourtney and Mason so she can go back to feeling sorry for Kourtney.
  9. Buy a condo in Manhattan, kidnap Kendell and become an obsessive stage auntie.
  10. Relocate to Atlanta and replace Stacey Dash on Single Ladies.
  11. Buy Kanye’s DW clothing line and sell it out of Dash. He’ll be forever grateful to get a purchase order.
  12. Give 47 people $381,000 and bring them with her in to the 1%. #occupyKimKardashian
  13. Give all the money to Khloe so that she’ll stop saying “I told you so”.
  14. Buy her mom enough plastic surgery so that she looks young enough to hang out with her in the club.
  15. Launch a sex-tape production company with her old buddy Paris Hilton.
  16. Buy back ALL of her sex-tapes.
  17. Pay for the promotion of Ray-J’s next album since the record label clearly isn’t going to.
  18. Buy Rob enough votes to win “Dancing With The Stars”.

Ok, ok, we’re done now.  We promise.

Kim Kardashian To File For Divorce

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