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About a week ago I was catching up with a guy friend of mine who is recently engaged, and he shared with me a conversation he’d had with his fiance. It seemed that out of the blue she began acting a bit insecure, needing reassurance of his love and that she was providing everything that he needs. He told me that he had made it very simple and plain to her that the only person who could mess this thing (engagement) up was HER, by “acting different.”  But what did he mean by “acting different?”

It turns out that this was his fourth time being engaged and after seeing the same traits, woman after woman, he was very clear of one thing – he could not deal with an insecure, incomplete woman. The woman he would stick with (because clearly he always became bored with the ‘non-confident shenanigans’ of the women he’d been with) , “she needed to be who she is and live in her truths ; stay exactly the woman she is today not let her mind play tricks on her or try to curve herself to fit a mold that she thinks he wants.”

After all, he is in love with the woman she is, naturally. What drew him to her in the first place was assertiveness- not passive –aggression. In his words “she’s a bad chick” (bad meaning good- a power mover, a boss, and beautiful). He needs her to own the ability to know what she wants in life, not be indecisive or unsure of what she has to offer and what she deserves.

The moral of his statement was that often time’s women start out strong and confident, but somewhere along the lines get scared or feel inadequate.

A word to the wise from my guy friend to the ladies: GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD LADIES, AND BE THE WOMAN YOU ARE! When you do, the universe will attract and help you retain all of your true desires, including your man.

Here Are Top Tips on ways To Be True To YOU, and not lose yourself in a relationship. Click Here for the Do’s and Don’t’s.