I tried to tell the Oneida Correctional Facility football team not to give this guy a huge contract, but they didn’t listen to me. They went ahead and gave him the record deal — 200 cigarettes, 50 commissary stamps, 15 sticks of beef jerky, and three (probably) hepatitis-free tattoos, for two seasons.
He’ll do something dumb and he won’t be able to play for you, I told them. It’s happened before. I told them it would happen again. And it did.
According to the New York Post, Plaxico Burress lost his recreational privileges for a month because he lied to a prison guard. He told the guard he had permission to use his cell phone to call his attorney and the guard took his word for it. He had no such permission, and this particular guard doesn’t like fibbers.
Now Plax has lost recreation privileges for a month and his cell phone for seven days. Ironic that Plax, while in prison, is allowed to have a cell phone while out here, we’re trying to send a guy to prison for buying a cell phone.
Anyway, despite my collection of sharpened toothbrushes, I’m no prison expert. I would imagine, though, that when you’re in protective custody like Plax — secluded from the other inmates and locked up alone for most of the day — recreation time is kind of a big deal. Losing that for a month can’t be fun.
Poor guy probably never envisioned a day when he’d long for the lenient, easy-going ways of Tom Coughlin.
Gracias, With Leather.