Level One: Making a practical love plan
This is the easy approach for literally minded types; it’ll help you tap your resources for love and put yourself out there so love can flow your way.
1. Identify 12 friends or family members you can assign to each month in the year ahead. Ask your dear, supportive loved ones to come up with one potential match — just an introduction — for you in that month. You can stack the deck by putting those more likely to come through (your best friend, your sister) in the early months of the year so that you may never have to rely on Aunt Doris in November (you’ll be in love by then)!
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2. Give yourself first-of-the-month reminders to canvas your closest coworkers for love referrals. You won’t be a pest if you ask quietly, carefully, and infrequently if they know anyone who is up for dating. Chances are, their circles and yours don’t overlap much, so they can introduce you to new prospects. Maybe they are members of a co-ed book group you could drop in on, or perhaps they have a sibling who recently got divorced and is looking to date again.
3. Give yourself three-month profile refreshers to keep you alive and well online. You’ll feel differently every season. Let that show in your profile, your photo, even your responses. Shift your personal message with the seasons. In winter, perhaps you’ll be looking for a fellow movie buff to hunker down with, bucket of popcorn in hand. Maybe spring is your time to invite prospects to plant window boxes with you. Let your passions come through by updating your headline, photo and the main text of your profile.
Level Two: Implementing the “as if” method
How many times have you found yourself rushing from the beginning of the week to the end and not having a moment to yourself? How often do you shove stuff under your bed, in a closet or into a drawer when you can’t find the right place to put it? How many storage containers have you bought lately? What’s in your fridge? When was the last time you had a weekend away, tried a new brunch spot, or heard some live music?
These are some important questions to answer if you want to invite love into your life. Love may very well be waiting patiently for an opportunity to find you but there’s no room at the moment. If you find that you’re over-scheduled, squirreling away stuff you don’t need or use, and living on frozen food and popcorn, you’re not exactly rolling out the red carpet for romance.
Make 2011 your year for love by living as if you’re already in a relationship. No, you don’t have to book a romantic table for two and go with a blow-up doll, but you need to consider what having someone in your life implies. Living as if you have someone in your life makes it much easier for love to find you.
1. Loosen up that schedule. If you have sports night on Monday, poker on Tuesday, tennis on Wednesday, the gym on Thursday and yoga class on Friday, exactly when would you be available for a date? Make room now. Being free one night a week isn’t going to kill you.
2. If you can’t find an inch of closet space for your own things, where are you going to put the inevitable stuff that comes with any big love? Coats, skis, sweaters, sweats — you need room to accommodate someone else. Look into paring down stuff you don’t need. Give your old clothes to the Salvation Army, and let those empty hangers in your closet welcome someone else’s shirts.
3. Stop living like you’re in a hotel. There is nothing enticing about a fridge that looks like a mini-bar or is filled with half-eaten takeout food. Learn to cook or at least boil pasta. Part of love is nurturing, and if you can’t nurture yourself, you’re not ready for love.
4. Build those skills and interests — attend a weekend seminar at a nearby museum; tour a historic home; sign up for that lecture by a noted author. You’ll become a more interested and interesting person… and who knows whom you might meet!
Living as if you are happily in a relationship puts you in the groove of love. It won’t be long before someone sees an opening in your cozy, welcoming life and applies to be your next great relationship.
Level Three: Creating a magical blueprint for romance
If you’re game for a big and powerful love connection, don’t be shy. Follow these directions for a love ritual, and you will certainly see romance in the coming year. Believe in it — thousands of single people who’ve read my books and attended my seminars have found success with it!
This process must be done after sunset and is best done between December 20 and January 13th:
1. Light a candle and sit comfortably in candlelight.
2. Make of list of the qualities in a relationship you desire. Use the present tense. Claim your power to create this love in your life. Here’s an example, but use your own words:
I create love in 2011 with someone who is screamingly funny, tender, caring, honest and compassionate. I create love with someone who loves animals, appreciates and respects my vegetarian diet. I create love with someone who complements my personality and who lovingly challenges me to be a better person. I create love with someone who loves music, adventure and joins me in volunteer work.
I have the power to create love with the perfect person for me.
3. Read your list out loud. And no, it will not work if you just read it silently. The power of your word is a strong force and this will help pull your wishes into reality.
4. When you’re done reading your lists, release this to the universe by saying, “So Be It and So It Is.”
5. Blow your candle out.
Hang onto your list. In the next 12 months, you’ll be able to see how your wishes were granted.
Astro-coach Barrie Dolnick helps people find love and happiness by understanding their stars and their karmic energy. She is the author of 12 books, including Enlighten Up! and KarmaBabe.
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