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We hear about her all the time: the side chick, the mistress, the other woman. From media headlines to chick chats with our girlfriends it seems like there’s always a story about someone creeping! Some ladies have no problem playing number two, while others have had their worlds shattered by the revelation that their man is cheating. In the latest installment of our “Sexcapades” series, read the juicy confessions below that fall on each end of the spectrum.

MUST READ: Always A Cheater: Studies Show Women Are Cheating Now More Than Ever

Happily Waiting In The Wings

When I met Az, I knew she had a girlfriend. Yes, she. She and I had been friends for about three years and as we grew closer, our feelings went from platonic to hedonistic and romantic. I wanted Az and she wanted me, but her girlfriend was in the way of our happiness. Or at least that’s what Az wanted me to believe.

During our friendship, I watched on social media as she tweeted (this was before Instagram) cryptic messages that I could easily apply to our relationship, but also could have been for Az’s girl. (Let’s call her Erin.) Erin hated my guts. She knew about me. Az was honest with her and told Erin about the last time she was in a relationship (with someone else) two years prior and I ended up stealing Az from her girlfriend; so Erin always watched me with a close and side eye. She had every right to. She was Az’s girlfriend and I was Az’s friend, slash happily waiting in the wings to stake my claim…again.

I know, it sounds dumb on my part, but Az promised she was leaving Erin, the same way she promised me she would leave the girl I stole her from the first time around. And she did end up leaving Erin once their relationship got way too volatile. I remember my phone ringing at 2 a.m. “Hello?” I groggily picked up.

“Danielle!” The voice on the other end of the phone was high-pitched and worried. “Tell Erin that we have NOTHING going on,” Az begged.

Still half sleep, I followed instructions, knowing that Az had prepped me for her “crazy” girlfriend calling me in the middle of the night. Hindsight is 20/20 y’all. Looking back, I’m like, “You idiot! She’s playing you!” but when I was in the middle of it, I was high on faux love, “Yeah, there’s nothing going on. We’re just friends,” I lied, tricking myself into thinking that my lying was loyalty to the woman I wanted to be with.

I heard Erin scream at Az, calling her every name in the book and then a click. The line went dead. I rolled right back over and fell asleep as if Az just called to tell me goodnight and her current girlfriend wasn’t just on the line trying to find out the truth.

Az would tell me that Erin was crazy and that she’s going to breakup with her, but because she’s so unstable, she has to be strategic about it. Hence her prepping me to lie on her behalf. “I don’t want Erin to come after you baby, she’s crazy.” I took her lies as a warning and faithfully listened.

Any time I would ask Az about her Facebook status, IM away message or tweet, she’d say, “Of course that’s about you baby. I can’t put your name or @ you because Erin stalks me online. If she finds out that you’re in my life as more than a friend, who knows what she’ll do?” Az warned. “Ok,” I would always agree, sometimes hesitantly. But I knew what I wanted, so I did what I had to do to get it. That’s what we’re supposed to do when we love someone, right?

I was 22 years old when this went down. I have since grown and learned. I would never, ever play the side chick in my mature age now, but when I thought I knew what love was–I happily made myself loyal for someone who was completely opposite of that. Nothing came of being Az’s side chick turned girlfriend because guess what? The cycle repeated itself! Az ended up dating someone as we were together, then dumped me four months into our dramatic love affair. You lose ‘em how you get ‘em. Side chicks never win, unless of course, they’re Joseline Hernandez.

HAVE YOUR CAKE & EAT IT TOO?: Side Chick Horror Stories  was originally published on

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