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Single Forever: 5 Reasons to be Alone

“Hey You…” As I began to type these two little starter words in a text message to my ex, I paused, growing a conscious. These two little words “Hey you” seemed so innocent, but secretly I knew what they could do. I knew if I used them, it was sure to set off a back and forth firestorm. The text exchange would include plenty of innuendos and subtle advances that would grow from sweet and suggestive to blatant with teasing emojis (like eggplants and water splashes). I knew it would make him want me.

As I typed “Hey You…” I already knew what I was doing. My intent was to put ‘me’ on his mind. I would play and get exactly what I wanted and that’s exactly what made me stop. In that flirtatious and vulnerable moment, I realized that I no longer even cared to have my ex, I was just texting out of familiarity or convenience perhaps. I only wanted him, “when I wanted him” and that was only when I felt like I didn’t have him.

It reminded me of the song by Ginuwine, “Only When You’re Lonely” (listen below). I began deleting the instigating text. It was a sad but honest realization that I simply don’t want to be accountable to someone else’s feelings.

I thought about what I missed about my ex- having him wash my car, pay for dinner and bills and being able to send an occasional ratchet text (without being judged). Then I reminded myself, that’s just isn’t fair. Being lonely is totally the wrong reason to interrupt someone else’s feelings. It made me think of folks who just can’t be alone or those who get into relationships for the wrong reasons. Not saying that you have to be single forever, but here are 5 reasons you should not date someone – consider being by yourself:

1. You only want them when you’re lonely (mentally, emotionally, and physically aroused). Read a book.

2. Because you are financially struggling or not satisfied with being check to check (and opt that two incomes has got to be better than one).

3. You have nothing in common (but they are nice to you).

4. You only consider being with them because you have a child together – if there was not a child, they would not be a match for you (at this point in your life).

5. Because you don’t want to be alone.