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Congratulations! You and Bae are officially an item!

After months (or weeks, no judgement here) of dating you two have made it official-official.

You’re excited. And possibly even in love so, you naturally want to tell the world, right?

Of course!

You’ve group chatted all your closest friends so it’s time to make it social media official with a status change, an obligatory couples selfie and a few dozen annoying cute hashtags.

But before you filter the hell out of that one photo standing in front of that really nice restaurant, let me caution you about rushing to your platform of choice to share your news.

While I’m not one to follow any set of rules when it comes to matters of the heart, I do think there’s nothing wrong with waiting a few months before you make your relationship “social media official”. I call it the stay low and build stage.

One article says that waiting 180 days allows you to “shift the course of the relationship without much public explanation”. But six months of no mention of your boo thang seems pretty extreme. Especially if you spend most of your time together.

Regardless of how many days you do or don’t wait, privacy is a critical factor in any relationship, platonic or otherwise. I would compare it to that of welcoming a new life into the world, but we live in a world where photos of #BabyAnthony make it to Facebook with his umbilical cord still attached.

But I’m not the one for keeping it a secret either. There’s a fine line between being private and hiding your relationship. Always be leery of the ‘I don’t want anybody in my business’ line. Ask follow-up questions to ensure that him/her aren’t trying to hide you from someone else.

The desire to be public with your relationship should always be carefully thought out and discussed with your partner beforehand. What’s your intent? Are you being malicious or are you genuinely happy and want others to know? Either way, both reasons are emotional and could end in embarrassment or regret.

Where do I stand? Tell some, keep some. It’s not a secret, it’s just not your business.

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Follow The Rules Or The Chemistry?  was originally published on blackamericaweb.com