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Breakups are rough. No matter how much your friends talk, your mother comforts, or co-workers attempt to distract you, getting over him is always far easier said than done. For women especially, the daily, sometimes hourly, change of emotions can be an overwhelming burden to deal with. Missing him, but not missing the bull that led to the relationship’s demise, can put you in a state of confusion for far too long.

Make no mistake about it, some relationships are supposed to endure a rift and come back stronger. But those situations are usually the exception to to the rule. Often, a relationship that ends is relationship that needed to end. When one party lets obstacles outweigh the love, respect or trust, it’s almost impossible for a connection to return to the way it was. What you should avoid at all costs is going back to him after you’ve made your decision to leave for good!

But cheer up, if it was meant to be it would’ve of been. Time will eventually ease the severity of the break up, and you will get over him no matter how dark and dismal it may seem. If you’ve been living long enough, remember when you survived and recovered from that last breakup with the last guy? Exactly. Stop stressing and obsessing, here are eight things you can do so your breakup won’t lead to a breakdown. In this order:

1. Stop telling the story

You’ve told all your girlfriends, your mom and your hairstylist what happened with the two of you. Is there really a need to tell your mailman, manicurist, and all of Facebook? The more you have to go through the sad or shocking details of the breakup, the longer it takes to begin the healing process. Tell those that you trust will give sound advice and stop it there.

2. Turn off the radio

Ne-Yo said it best: “Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow/So why can’t I turn off the radio?” Music is powerful; when going through hardships it can be used to heal or prolong the hurt. Rest assured, there will be way to many songs that remind you of him. Don’t torture yourself with Usher’s, ‘Daddy Home,’ knowing your man hasn’t been home for a while and isn’t coming back.

3. Start on a project

This can be as simple as rearranging your closet or a more involved task such as renovating your home. The ending of relationship frees up time, time that if you’re smart you will invest in yourself. So take that French class, build your stock portfolio or buy that dog you wanted. Yes, these are all fabricated distractions, but distractions that don’t involve a rebound are always more beneficial than detrimental. Projects are better than sulking on your couch… which leads to the next point.