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We all know that people watch Real Housewives of Atlanta because it’s entertaining. NeNe and Kenya’s antics are amusing because we don’t know them. But let’s be real, having friends like them in real life would be draining af. And if you don’t take anything else away from this show, understand that toxic friendships is something we all need to let go of this year. Sometimes, watching other people going through it helps you understand your own situation better and it’s probably safe to say that many of us have known or experienced toxic people that are super sweet and charming one minute, but then turn into haterade sipping Gremlins at the slightest offense. Or, the people who seem nice, but are actually nice-nasty. They say wicked things with a smile and a sweet tone (*coughs* Kenya). Let’s break this down.

On tonight’s episode of RHOA, NeNe continued her apology tour during the girls trip to Toronto. Last season, she fell out with everyone and after months of social media back and forth and making shady comments in interviews, and blocking people on social media, NeNe finally realized that she was a big part of the problem. She made up with Tanya, she made up with Kandi, and on tonight’s episode she made up with Eva. She actually apologized to Eva for hurting her feelings. Watching NeNe take accountability seems forced and Kenya, of all people, called it. 

Later on, NeNe tells Eva she was open to having a discussion with Porsha but then said she was mad at Porsha for releasing a text exchange between them to the public and had the nerve to liken it to someone releasing revenge porn. That was a ridiculous comparison and a total backtrack from what she should have done, which was take accountability. She fat shamed Porsha when she was pregnant and even in that conversation with Eva, and also called Porsha’s baby a water buffalo. All of that, is what you call verbal warfare and it’s not cool. Whenever NeNe feels the least bit slighted she starts spewing the meanest things she can think of and that is not okay.

Friends aren’t always going to get along, but when someone can’t handle being upset with you without taking things all the way to the battle field and bringing up hurtful things that might trigger you then that’s not someone you want to be friends with (and they probably need a lot of therapy). NeNe has fallen out with these women a lot, throughout the years, in the same way and her pattern is always similar. It’s cyclical dysfunction. NeNe’s pattern seems to be get upset or feel slighted, escalate, then apologize, then fall out, then escalate, then apologize. That’s abusive and draining.

Kenya is another toxic personality that would not make a good friend. The fact that she likes to steal people’s thunder is not okay. Blurting out that Mike was going to propose was wack and a bitter thing to do. She can deny it all she wants to but there was no real reason to do that and someone as smart as her definitely understands that. But her thing is throwing rocks then hiding her hands. Storming Marlo’s hair care event with a band to promote her own haircare event was wack. Kenya likes to steal people’s thunder and center herself, something even Porsha mentioned, and it’s not okay.

Again, we watch the show because it’s entertaining, but we can all probably relate to the toxicity in some of these so-called friendships. A lot of these women probably still deal with each there because they’re contractually obligated to this show. But if you find that you are encountering alleged friends who behave this way, understand that they are not your friend—and probably aren’t capable of such until they get lots of therapy. Even if they apologize, understand that actions speak louder than words and if you find that the same things keep happening again with the same people then it might be time to move on.

But in related news, get you a friend like Tanya! She keeps it positive and tries to be respectful, even in negative situations, and she hooked her girls up when they were in her city! More of that energy, please, and thanks.

RHOAS12: NeNe And Kenya Are The Toxic Friends You Should Let Go Of In 2020  was originally published on