Here are some smart ways for you to deal and get along better with your in-laws if you do not already have a blooming relationship with yours. And if you are one of those lucky few who get along fantastically with the in-laws, be sure to share your secrets with the rest of us here by leaving your comments on this post.
Sometimes, turning a deaf ear works well. This may also be termed as selective hearing. Some things said may upset you, but instead of lashing back or answering back sarcastically (which most of us are guilty of), just bite your tongue and pretend you did not hear it. You know, this may even backfire on your in-laws because he or she may be the one getting upset that you didn’t get worked up!
Take the high way. Think along the lines of maintaining harmony not only between you and your in-laws, but also on the part of your spouse. For his or her sake, it is worth to take the high way and let petty issues be. Taking the high way doesn’t mean being the weaker one to give in to all the demands or unsettling remarks, it just means not taking them to heart and letting things be. You are definitely the bigger person here to take it all in stride! And I’m sure your spouse will be very appreciative of your attitude.
If you need to say something back in response to what was said or done, then do so constructively in the best way you can although you may be boiling hot inside. It’s easier said than done, but I suppose once you get the hang of doing so, it may just become second nature to you. Sometimes, you may also want to refrain from immediately responding when you are hot headed. Take some time to cool off before you let the words out of your mouth. They may be less hurtful if you refrain from impulsive responses.
Don’t get together that often with the in-laws if you can get away with it. Absence is supposed to make the heart fonder, but I would agree if you tell me that “absence makes the heart fonder” does not apply to in-laws! But you get what I mean, when you meet less, the chances of getting on each other’s nerves are also lessen. You tend to be nicer to each other and perhaps even more courteous. As another saying goes, familiarity breeds contempt, so meeting up less helps!
If you have kids, things may be less strained between you and the in-laws as their focus tend to be on the grandchildren rather than to spend time picking fights or finding faults with you. So yes, having kids is not just a personal joy, it is also an ammunition to fight off focus on you!
Be nice to them if you can find the heart to. When you do meet up with them, ask caring questions about their well-being. Take them out for a nice brunch and keep conversations light and easy without touching on sensitive issues. Small talks of nothingness are sometimes best instead of dwelling on serious issues.