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After Jennifer Hudson’s mother, brother and young nephew were murdered in Chicago in October 2008, the singer-actress kept quiet. Now, with VH1’s ‘Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson’ last night, the Oscar-winning ‘Dreamgirls’ star and former ‘American Idol’ contestant is finally speaking out about the tragedy.

“For almost two weeks straight … [I was] inside one room with just family and friends coming in and out,” she says in the episode. “I prayed when I’d get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night.”

Hudson’s mother, Darnell, 57, and her brother, Jason, 29, were discovered inside Hudson’s childhood home in Chicago. Her 7-year-old nephew, Julian, was found later in an SUV. All were the victims of multiple gunshot wounds. In the special, she speaks about them and her loving upbringing.

“It’s all a blur, it was surreal. It was like I was outside of myself. I feel like I’ve lived about three or four different lives.”

Speaking about her mother, Hudson says Darnell would sing The Temptations to her and her siblings. “She had so much patience.”

Hudson is now a mother herself — she has an 11-month-old son, David, with her fiance, WWE wrestler David Otunga. Her child has helped her overcome the pain, and he reminds her of both her nephew and her mother. “In so many ways, I channel her because she was such a great mom.”

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