DAILY DILEMMA: DAD CUTS OFF WEDDING MONEY

This wedding drama has turned into a family power struggle. A bride getting married next month told her father she plans to walk herself down the aisle. She loves him, but she doesn’t like the symbolism of a man “giving away” a woman like property. Dad heard rejection, disrespect and embarrassment. So he pulled his money.

Both people have a right to their feelings, but only one is using money as leverage. Dad wasn’t wrong for dreaming about that walk. For some fathers, it represents love, pride and a moment imagined since their daughter was little. But a gift shouldn’t buy control over her ceremony. If the money comes with conditions, it wasn’t a gift. It was a contract nobody discussed.

And this bride isn’t alone. Zola’s 2025 survey of more than 6,000 engaged couples found that 16 percent wanted to change the “given away” or aisle tradition. Forty-two percent reported family drama during wedding planning, and 43 percent said parents or guardians made the process more stressful. Money raises the stakes, too. The average 2025 wedding cost $36,000. Only 12 percent said loved ones were covering the full bill, while 87 percent of couples contributed some of their own money.

My advice? Have one calm conversation. Offer Dad another role, like a first look, special dance, toast or walking halfway together. But the final symbol belongs to the bride. Dad can withdraw his money. He shouldn’t withdraw his love.