There are many reasons that you should and should not get married. Here, I will give you 5 reasons why you shouldn’t tie the knot.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get a clue about the seriousness of marriage before any of us make that commitment. Marriage is more than a pretty ring, big white dress and towering cake. Someone should have explained that to Kim Kardashian. It’s work, which takes maintenance and there are many people that aren’t even halfway prepared to deal with the consequences of all that marriage entails.
There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Ask the folks who have survived over 40 years together and see if they don’t have a long list of imperfections that they just “dealt with.” Granted, some couples can knock marriage out of the ballpark, but that’s such a small number that one has to wonder if marriage is really all our fantasies have it cracked up to be?
Marriage is usually paired with some form of pressure of it “being time,” “not getting any younger” or the ever-lingering “what are we doing here?” Most of these factors end up dragging poor souls down the aisle and to the alter when they know deep down inside that marriage isn’t the right choice, but it’s a bit too late. Lately, there have been so many new engagement announcements – everyone from Aretha Franklin to Jim Jones are planning on tying the knot – and it’s turning into an epidemic. But it’s also been raining divorces – hello, Kim and Katy Perry – so before we all try to snag us someone and make the ultimate plunge into matrimony, let’s take a page from the Brangelina “Book of Love” and rethink this whole marriage thing. Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t get married.
1. Til Death Do Us Part: Vows speak volumes about marriage. You’re vowing to stay with someone no matter what. Typically, when things get worse – finances change, your spouse changes or life just changes for the worst – many are ready to go running for the hills. Do not get married if you can’t handle things getting worse, i.e. sickness, poor, etc.
2. Your Last Lover: Unless you and your partner decide to open up your marital bed to other lovers, your spouse will be the last person that you are intimate with. The. Last. Scary, right? Variety is the spice of life. You can’t have a variety of lovers anymore, so it’s up to you to keep things spicy between the sheets. If you can’t handle the idea of only being with your current boo for the rest of your life, then marriage isn’t going to be so grand for you.
3. Against All Odds: The divorce rate for first marriages is at 41%. I’m not great at math, but that’s clearly almost half. There’s got to be a reason people can’t stay together these days. Oh, maybe they got married for all the wrong reasons. *kanyeshrug*
4. Biological Clock Ticking: Women are on a slippery slope when it comes to childbearing. So if we look up at 30-years plus and we’re still single, most of us freak out because having a child gets much harder as the years go up. However, that doesn’t mean that we have to sink our claws into the next eligible bachelor to conceive with. Just because you want to be a mother, may not mean you’ve got what it takes to be a wife.
5. Take Care: Having someone take care of you should not be a motivator for marriage. Any and everyone should know what it is to be independently sustaining before, during and after any relationship. A lot of women think that it’s a man’s job to take care of them, when really, it’s your job as a couple to take care of one another.
Truth is, there’s so many factors that lead to marriage and I’m a personal believer that all those factors need to be aligned–like the stars–in order to yield a successful marriage. Don’t get me wrong, lost of people beat the odds. Just ask the 39% that stay together. But also ask them how and trust that it is not without major headaches and heartbreaks. I’d definitely love to offer a big congratulations to Aretha Franklin and Willie Wilkerson, Jennifer Hudson and David Otunga, Jim Jones and Chrissy Lampkin and all the other lovesick couples taking the leap. However, marriage is not for the weak of heart. So, here’s to your strength lovebirds!
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