DROPPING JEWELS: LOVE LANGUAGES DON’T EXCUSE LAZINESS

“That’s just not my love language” can’t be your answer every time your partner needs something from you.

At some point, that stops being a personality trait and starts sounding like an excuse with good branding.

The whole idea behind love languages was supposed to help you understand how your partner receives love. It wasn’t created to give you a permanent pass to say, “Well, that’s just not me.”

Your partner needs words of affirmation? Say them. Even if you’re not naturally good at it.

They need quality time? Give them some. Even when you’re tired. Even when the game is on. Even when sitting on the couch scrolling through your phone sounds a whole lot easier.

Because loving somebody isn’t only about doing what comes naturally to you. Sometimes love means learning what matters to them.

And that’s where people get it twisted.

You can’t keep saying, “I love you,” while refusing to do anything that actually makes your partner feel loved.

The flowers are nice. The anniversary trip is nice. The big birthday surprise is nice.

But relationships usually live or die in the small stuff.

Did you listen?

Did you make time?

Did you say thank you?

Did you show affection?

Did you check in?

Did you do something simply because you knew it mattered to them?

That’s the work.

A love language should be a map to your partner, not a wall you hide behind. You don’t get to point at some quiz result every time your partner asks you to stretch a little and say, “Sorry, that’s not how I love.”

Sometimes you have to love people in a way they can actually receive it.

Love is a verb.

It’s action. It’s effort. And sometimes it’s doing the thing you wouldn’t normally do because the person you claim to love is worth the extra step.

So the next time “that’s not my love language” starts coming out of your mouth, ask yourself another question:

Is it really not your love language…or do you just not feel like making the effort?

Dropping Jewels with The Madd Hatta is a daily feature I do at 5:26 weekdays on Majic 102.1.