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Communication in relationships, you either got it or you don’t. Does effective communication take work? Yes. Does open communication with your mate involve trial and error? Most definitely! Will you have to step out of your comfort zone on more than one occasion to achieve results…Yessss!

I often have conversation with friends who feel ten times more comfortable coming to me, an outsider, about their relationship issues than they do their mate. Granted, there are things women feel more comfortable divulging with other women but the bulk of what I hear could be easily communicated to a significant other. Nine times out of ten, women hold back on having important conversations with their mates because they feel he may lose interest, become upset or not change xyz behaviors. Don’t get it twisted; the purpose of effective communication is not necessarily to change a person, but to understand their perspective better.

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Here are five important issues women should be comfortable talking to their mate about:

  • That time of the month: I always joke that men who can vibe with me while I’m on my period, riding the monthly hormone roller coaster is a keeper. He should be aware of any changes within your cycle, if you’re having cramps, don’t be shammed to share that information. Most men tend to be secretive with their health issues but if you set the bar high and encourage open communication with regards to  health, he may feel more comfortable coming to you with these issues.
  • Career aspirations: If you want to run for office, tell him about it. If you eventually want to be in a position that may mean you are making more money than your mate, have no shame in your game. The world is yours and if he’s legit he’ll want to be all up in it with you.
  • Sexual harassment: I find that so many women withhold this type of information from their mates until a situation escalates. If someone is harassing you at your job or on the street, please don’t keep that a secret from your mate. In fact don’t keep any form of sexual harassment to yourself period.
  • Shortcomings in bed: This will probably be the hardest conversation you can have with a mate, but have it and be gentle. Always let him know what he is doing right first and take it from there.
  • Sexual fantasies: If your inner freak-a-leak is dying to come out but he has claimed you as wife-material,wonderful, start sharing the exciting erotica loving side of you and quit holding back! Your bedroom is not a church pulpit, explore each other and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, even if it’s just talking about the fantasies. Tickle his senses.

HelloBeautiful family, how do you feel about this list? Do you think that these are issues that are better discussed with amongst your girls? Do you think that there are certain things you should keep from discussing with a mate? This curious cat wants to know!

About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Follow her on twitter @goddess_I

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