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Contrary to my own timeline, now could be a much better time for me to meet Mr. Right than it would have been a few years ago.

In my 20s I was sure that I was ready to get married and start a family. So many of my friends had found “The One,” and were happily planning their ever afters. My turn just had to be coming, right? Not so much. Much of my 20s were spent trying to get over this breakup or the other and hoping that the next guy would finally be “it.”

It’s a lot of pressure to put on something that’s supposed to be all about going out and having fun.

Dating can be an incredibly exhausting endeavor, especially when you just keep focusing on the finish line. Sure there are fun guys to hang out with, but at some point you do get tired of just passing time. Then there is the reality that a lot of this is a numbers game, so a girl’s got to have her options. If Guy A is acting up, then you accept a date from Guy B while keeping tabs on Guy C…just in case. This isn’t to suggest that you should be going out with just anyone to pass the time, of course.

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For better or worse, my time playing the dating game hasn’t turned out quite the way I (or much less anyone else) had expected. I’m often asked why it is that I am single, and my best reply is to shrug and say that I just haven’t met the right guy yet. But the real issue may have been that I just wasn’t in a good position to stumble across him. Beyond that I may not have been prepared to get rid of the wrong ones when I see the red flags pop up.

Up until this summer, I had been working in a day job that I hated for a pretty awful company. It certainly didn’t help that my commute was always a nightmare, and the pay was just dismal. The whole thing was a miserably stressful situation, and that sort of thing shows up in your appearance. No amount of makeup and cute clothes will cover that up.

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Thankfully, the career aspect of my life is much more fulfilling now that I have switched jobs. The icing on the cake is that I pretty much get to be surrounded by people who I genuinely enjoy all day. Outside of the office, I spend more time volunteering at church, which means I get to spend time around even more amazing people.

Good things are being fed into my spirit all day (even on the bad days), and I’m much happier now than I have been in years. I’m exhausted half the time, but I’m busy filling my days with things and people who make me smile. That makes it okay.

On top of that, guys aren’t really the focus anymore. Would it be nice if I met someone now? Sure! But the point is it’s not my main concern. Right now I’m getting to these checks and exploring my interests. The right guy will come along eventually and join my life already in progress.

The worst fate in the world for many women might be to be single at 31, but it’s not the end of the world. In fact, I’m at a point now that I might be able to bring much more into a relationship than I would have been four or five years ago.

All this time on the market (even with my hiatus from boys) hasn’t always been fun, but now I might actually be ready for the right one to come along.


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CHICK CHAT: I’m 31 & Finally Ready To Settle Down…At Some Point  was originally published on