I’m a talker.
Not only am I a talker, but I am also a TERRIBLE pretender so I used to think of it to be sort of a sin and a shame to witness something (ridiculous) going on and “I” not say something about the ridiculousness. I pegged it my lawful duty to “call out” the ridiculous thought, act or individual at any given time. It was a disservice! (I thought) to let any random act of ridiculousness go masked. What good could it possibly do anyone if I witnessed something and “I” did not correct someone on their wayward way or action?
In my late twenties I lived in New York City and in effort to get New Yorkers to report criminal offense around the city, the New York transit center (MTA) marketed the slogan: “See Something, SAY Something!” It was Brilliant, Simple, Clear and I lived by that motto! After all, what was the point of having an opinion, quick wit, GOOD ADVICE (in my thought) and a set of EYES if you were not going to use them, right? Wrong. while that was my thought when I was a younger girl, the older I got…well to be really transparent, the more mature I became in my spiritual life… the more I realized that it was UNWISE to open my mouth and irresponsibly let just anything spew out. In fact, the wiser I got, the more I understood the premise to “hold my mule” as Shirley Caesar would sing.
Catch your Tongue, or Catch a BEATDOWN!
Every now and again, I allow myself to catch up in the world of ratchet reality TV, so last night I binged watched episodes of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Upon sight, I cringed at seeing Treasure (one of this seasons cast mates who just so happens to be from Houston) catch a BEAT DOWN for what? – NOT TAMING HER TONGUE! The scene: Treasure is new to the Atlanta scene and considered the “newbie” to the other cast mates who clearly have established bonds- finicky as they may be. Well, Miss Treasure gets invited on a trip to Jamaica by another cast mate (Joc) who was an uninvited guest himself for this particular trip. Treasure has already been tagged as the girl who sleeps with “married men” and the chick who runs and tells other people’s business, that she has no business in. But I like Treasure. I recall a few months back, she visited here at the station and as I asked her questions about her experience on the show, she explained how she tries to “keep it 100”. She also told me that she was “holding her own” on the show, kicking up some dust; I left our talk thinking -She’s young, aggressive and energetic. She’s fast-talking and a confident young lady who has had some experiences. She alluded that I should “stay tuned” because there was a very interesting trip that she took to Jamaica with Young Joc. Upon viewing last night’s episode, I witnessed THAT episode. Not only did I see it, I also saw a glimpse of the mistake that some of us make when we are “young, ambitious and don’t know when to “keep quiet.”
CHECK A SCENE FROM THE EPISODE HERE –>
**Warning: Adult Language and Wig Pulling**
To her demise, Treasure believed that because she had a “seat at the table” and because the others were sharing opinions about marriage, that she should be able to speak her piece too, on Rasheeda and Kirk’s marriage. After seeing this, I thought to share some of my own lessons learned and a few nuggets for TAMING YOUR TONGUE, ladies:
***SIDEBAR, IF YOU ARE AT WORK, THESE TIPS CAN ALSO BE APPLIED TO YOUR CO-WORKERS!**
#1: PEEP THE SCENE. If the circle of people you are visiting with are not your own family members or your personal FRIENDS and you are not ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION by said individuals about their life, marriage or circumstances…. then KEEP QUIET!!
#2: BE A BESTIE. Even if you are among YOUR OWN friends and/or family members, BE TACTFUL. There is a time and place for all conversations and maybe that setting is not it.
#3: DOUBLE DOWN ON DELIVERY. They say “don’t shoot the messenger” and everyone should be able to have an opinion… Truth is that it may not matter HOW TRUE the information is that you may be delivering; it may not even matter if this advice will SAVE THEIR LIVES! The truth of the matter is that “DELIVERY MATTERS!” How you say what you say is more important that WHAT you have to say. Consider the person. We’ve already concluded that first, you SHOULD have a personal connection to this person if you are giving them “life advice”. And if so, then you should have some idea of how they will react and handle what you are so eloquently delivering. Be considerate to their temperament (and your own) when dishing your “good advice” or word to the wise.
#4 HUN’ BE HELPFUL! CHECK YOUR INTENT. In the wise words of Katt Williams, “Hun Be Helpful!” Ask yourself “What am I really trying to accomplish here? Is it HELPFUL or HURTFUL?” And be okay with knowing that EVERYTHING does not HAVE to be said. #LetPeopleLive it’s okay not to say EVERYTHING, every time.Believe me the creator works all things out in due time! It is not YOUR duty to enlighten the WORLD, Craig! Not the whole world!! Now Run Tell That!
*Katt Williams explicit adult language*